Winging It, Trusting It, Living It - getting married was easier

Cory was right when he said marriage would make things easier. Commitment carries a different weight when you’re married. Traveling, blending families, navigating Army life—all of it shifts when there’s a permanent foundation beneath it. Long-distance relationships can work, but for us, marriage brought clarity.

Day date to the Suzzallo Library at UW - seems to be a theme for us

So off we went. Cory drove to Tennessee to ask me to marry him, we drove to Oklahoma for our honeymoon, and then it was back to reality. I flew home to Tennessee, and he headed to Washington. A few weeks later, it was my turn—I boarded a plane west with no plan other than showing up to the marriage we had already chosen.

His house sat by a quiet lake, the kind of place where mornings with coffee felt like they belonged in another world. But beyond the peace and pretty views, the real work began. We had eight days to delve into the questions that matter when you’re no longer in your 20s. Politics, parenting (three amazing girls—seriously, no more additions), dogs (always yes), travel (absolutely), five-year plans, and what life after the Army should look like. We talked careers, home life, HOAs (a heated debate), how we fight, and how we make up. Somewhere in there, Cory spent hours shooting his recurve bow while making me feel like the only woman in the world—a very effective combo, by the way.

That trip also marked another significant first—I introduced Cory to my brothers and my parents. And honestly, it went better than I could’ve hoped. They immediately accepted him, not because of anything flashy, but because they love me, and they could see how real this was. Looking back, I know that wouldn’t have even been an option if we hadn’t gotten married. Which circles us right back to Cory’s point: marriage made life easier. There was no limbo, no “wait and see” phase. We decided up front to make it work, and by bringing in our families early, we strengthened that commitment instead of leaving it hanging in uncertainty.

And then came the curveballs. Because let’s be honest: everyone has a plan until you get punched in the mouth. That first year wasn’t just peaceful mornings by the water—it was life throwing tests at us, forcing us to put all those conversations into practice. Love wasn’t just about the easy moments; it was about rolling with the punches, laughing when we could, and holding each other accountable to the promises we made when they were still just words.

Zem and Cory

Marriage, for us, wasn’t about a fairy tale beginning. It was about building a strong, steady foundation from the very beginning. Not with grand gestures, but with coffee by the water, inside jokes about specific documentaries, and the realization that—at this stage in life—we’ve entered a relationship with clarity—about who we are, what we value, and what we each need to thrive moving forward.